Posted by
Dave Edwards
at
5:00 PM
Yesterday I read that Polow Da Don, one of the best producers around, had brokered a deal between Rihanna and Chris Brown to get in the studio and record an emotional, romantic duet together. Considering CB *allegedly* went Wayne Brady on her just three weeks ago, I think the general reaction to this news was disgust and some level of perverse fascination- similar to what I felt the last time FOX aired one of those "Man vs Beast" reality shows in which sprinters race giraffes and people get mauled by wild animals for our amusement.
The news of their duet struck me as funny because of a book I read recently, 'Kill Your Friends' by British author and former Britpop A&R John Niven. The book is more or less American Psycho set in the height of the 90's Britpop music industry, as told through the eyes of a psychotic and hilarious A&R, Steven Stelfox. At one point late in the novel, Stelfox has an 'aha!' moment when he sees a former artist of his incapacitated in a wheelchair after suffering a beatdown at a club one night; Stelfox realizes that, because nobody will want to give a bad review to a now mentally challenged rapper who drools constantly, his "comeback" album could be an emotional smash hit. The most poignant part of Niven's book is that as outrageous as the murderous and vapid Stelfox is, it's hardly an exaggeration of how brutal the music industry really is.
The book is a must read for anyone who enjoys the work of Ellis or who can stomach some graphic and utterly appalling comedy. But it's especially a must read for anyone thinking that the music industry is about making music. It is about making money and 'smash records'; to paraphrase Stelfox, 'sort that out, and you can do what you fuc*ing please.'
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